Husbands paternal instincte

So our son is 8 months old and is a very calm(for the most part) Baby. When he was born, my husband didn’t really know what to do. When it would be feeding time and he’d cry he’d get frustrated and just say here take him. He even called our baby a “job” when he was born through the 2nd month. He know is way better but still there’s times where he gets aggravated. He still plays video games(no issue in that) but when he plays until 2 in the morning and then 45 before we have to leave he lays down to have me handle the baby. I had just got home from a doctors appt and was not feeling well. Then he will say well “I’m so tired”. It’s not my fault you stayed up and played video games. He does this all the time! Sometimes when I want to go do activities as a family, he doesn’t want to do it. He just wants to play video games. He is the only one working(army and doing recruiting). I have cerebral palsy and have some other nerve issues. He always says when he gets home sometimes “I wish I could take naps during the day”. It just makes me feel bad because it insinuates that I don’t do anything during the day. Don’t get me wrong, he does do a lot for us and takes care of our son. Before our son was born, he would always say “I think I’m gonna be better at this parenting thing than you because I’m a soldier and I’m used to staying up and am tough.” He just says stuff that hurts. I’ve said before if we had a second kid now I’d be really nervous that it would just be me taking care of both kids because he would probably get flustered with the crying and not knowing what the baby wants. I just think having kids is a lot different than what he expected. It is different than what I expected but I have embraced it to the fullest.

Has anyone else had their husband been like this when they have kids? Not engaging as much, thinking kids is just too much work and getting upset? I also mentioned going to counseling and it was liking pulling hair out trying to get to go. I went for several sections. He went to one. It was not a priority to him.