I gave up... I was tired of constantly being the "bad guy" and being the only one to take responsibility... I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells making sure I didn't say something to upset him, or set him off.

I was tired of feeling afraid in my own home, and not knowing what person was going to be coming in the door that day.

this is the hardest thing I have ever done... the person I spent the last 5 years being best friends and everything in between is just gone. it's like it never happened. my heart feels crushed, and my brain feels scattered.

how do I get past this? how do I begin to heal from such a wonderful but toxic relationship? how do I forget about the man I planned on marrying and having children with.

I just want to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, and think back... but how is that healthy?

please give me advice on how to get through this and remember who I am..