Losing my 'Virginity'

Now I can already see why some of you might not call this my virginity. But that's not the point of this post. Also, please don't be telling me all that 'your virginity isn't a big deal' stuff. I have high anxiety and that affects my ability to distinguish not a big deal events when I'm in them.

Anyways!

So tomorrow I'm meeting up with a good friend of mine. He's lovely. Genuinely. We've been friends for over a year now.

But recently he mentioned that quite a while ago, he had thought about showing me a good time. Obviously my first thought was 'no you don't, you just want a bj'. But I was proven wrong. He is a very much so gentleman. He wanted to pleasure me. Even when I tried to convince him that I would feel rude doing that and returning the feeling, he declined.

So anyways, a few weeks after this, he took my first kiss. He had been so lovely about that, making sure I was comfortable and telling me what he planned to do to ease my anxiety. Which it did.

That was a nice experience and I think he got a little into it. That was definitely to my surprise. Because he asked if I would like to do it again sometime.

So moving forward, tomorrow he agreed to exchange oral. But he once again, insisted that he pleasure me first. Making it clear that if I didn't want to return it, that was ok too. Side note, he's a bit of a submissive man. Kinda cute.

I mean, he's been super sweet about it. He's taken my anxiety and every worry into account. He listened to my concerns for over an hour and just reminded me why each one was gonna be ok.

Anyways, as tomorrow nears closer I'm super nervous. I know he said not to worry. I know he said it doesn't matter if I left him with a hard on or if I couldn't follow through or if I backed out from nerves. But I'm still so nervous.

All these questions keep flooding my mind.

What if I don't look like he wants?

What if I can't please him?

What if I make stupid noises?

What if i do my stupid body tremble when I reach a climax?

What if I don't kiss him properly?

What if i can't blow him or jerk him coreectly?

So many what ifs!