Really nervous....

Well been ttc since may. I've had zero luck. So me and my so decided to hold for a while so we can build more money in our savings for when the time does come. But now I'm thinking we may not be waiting a while. I was supposed to start my period on December 2nd but so far nothing. My boobs usual start hurting towards the start on af but this month they hurt a lot more and I've noticed one getting bigger. I'm really afraid to test because I don't want to see the negative sign. I'm also afraid it will be like my first pregnancy, which I found out I was pregnant with my son and thought oh I'm a month along... Wrong.... I was 3 1/2 months along and didn't know because I had a period up until I got my positive. Basically I need to vent and know I'm not alone at this point. I want to wait to see if Af shows up before I take a test so I'm waiting til Christmas morning to test just incase she is just late this month.