I’m new to this and I’m not really sure how I’m gonna feel about this after posting it. I might delete this immediately and no one gets to see it. Or I’ll leave it up and I might get an answer or regret it. Sorry about the length.

So, I’m a junior in high school. This has probably been going on for about a year or so. It started last year.

This new guy moved into my town and started attending my school. He’s ok I guess (I’m very introverted so I don’t have too many friends and I don’t know much about him). He doesn’t live in my neighborhood, but he does ride my bus.

Last year, there would be a few times in the afternoon where the bus would fill up and he would have to share a seat with me. I thought nothing of it and I would just put in my earbuds and watch things pass by on the ride home. Since his stop was first I would sit on the inside, the window seat. I would be staring out the window and we would pass a tree or something and it’d get dark and I’d be able to see the inside of the bus. I caught him stealing some glances every once in a while on the ride. But I thought that he was wondering if I was alright since he suddenly starting sitting with me even though we didn’t know each other.

One day I was wearing this white, ribbed, lace-up shirt that I really liked and I noticed in the window that he was staring a little longer than usual. So I turned to him and saw that he was staring directly at my chest. I didn’t say anything and neither did he. He just looked up at me, smirked and then turned back to talk to his friends. Oh, I complete forgot to mention that he’s a a serial ‘manspreader’. Like he’s doing the splits. And every time he takes up most of the seat. I won’t lie, I’m a thin girl, so I don’t openly complain about him sitting the way he does cause I can just squeeze up against the wall of the bus. But this time he kept pressing his leg against mine and it was just really invading my personal space and making me uncomfortable, so I kind of just nudged his leg and asked if he could move it just a little. He told to ‘not worry about it, my stop is here anyway’ and I felt bad. The last thing he probably wanted to do was to sit next to me, and now I felt like I had given him shit for asking that.

Fast forward some months, now I know him a little better and he doesn’t seem like an awful guy. Not really a guy I’d see myself becoming friends with on my own, but we became relative acquaintances purely on convenience. I had another friend on the bus though, and to make this easier the guy will be ‘A’ and my (guy) friend will be ‘G’.

G likes to play around, a lot. He’s a bit of a headass, but it’s fine I still love him. He would always tease/instigate A, saying things like “hey you two should just f*** already,” or “Wow you two look like a couple already,”. I never said anything and kind of just brushed it off cause G and I are cool so I knew he wouldn’t say or do anything to intentionally bother me. A on the other hand, loved everything G said. Every time G would say something, A would always turn to look at me, and give me these looks that sometimes made my stomach turn. But again, I never really said anything to him cause it never lasted that long.

Fast forward to the real A. The one who is no stranger to skinship and touching. Let me add one more thing, I’m still a virgin. I’ve never had sex, never kissed anyone, never gone out with anyone, never been asked out, held hands, any of that. I’m just not a part of that world. And A knew that.

Here are probably some of the worst experiences. We’ll start off small. He touched me, a lot. Not like that that way, but in enough ways to make it feel not right. He didn’t touch me in like private areas, but he would make comments. Like how my leggings were basically spandex and how they made my thighs look...and then he’d pull on the material and the touch my leg and look at me while doing so.

And sometimes he would even go as far as to grab my hand to do some handshake even though I didn’t want to. One time he stroked my face right before he got off the bus. My two friends G and Renee both saw and kind of just stared at me like they were waiting for some reaction. Renee is my best friend but she and G were freshmen at the time so they probably didn’t feel like they could do anything. I didn’t have any words but I felt gross and I washed my face as soon as I got home.

The next incident was by far the worst thing he’s done. This was probably some time in the early spring. I remember it being warm and I decided to wear some shorts. I probably had a bad week because I remember turning down everyone’s request to sit with me (not that there were many, just that if someone had asked I would’ve said no). Eventually A cake on the bus and kind of just stood by my seat staring at me as if wondering what I was doing. I was sitting comfortably with my legs out on the seat. I’m a y’all 5’9” girl who’s 87% leg so you best believe the whole seat was taken. He asks me to let him sit and I said no (for the first time) and he kind of just laughed. I remember the laugh vividly. It was a mixture of shock and amusement and it irked me.

The buses were getting ready to leave and he needed to sit somewhere, even though there were several seats open since spring sports had just started. So, he decided to lift me up, sit down, and place me in his lap. I was shocked, and so was everyone else cause people were staring at me. Some in disgust others in confusion. Either way I hated the confusion and I asked him what the hell he was doing and he just said, “I had to sit down.”

I was humiliated, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I was panicking. I tried to move, but the most I could do was scoot my butt off his lap and sit up against the wall of the bus with my legs still over his cause our bags were in front of the seats. I tried to distract myself from the situation by going on my phone and sending my friends a bit of a joking S.O.S. And then A just looked at me and started smirking. I asked him what was the problem and he said, “If I turned right now, we’d be doing something very inappropriate.” I didn’t fully understand what he meant because I didn’t even begin to think of the situation that way, so...he grabbed my thigh and turned towards me to show me. I froze and just started laughing cause I didn’t know what else to do.

I always wondered if that situation would’ve been different if I hadn’t worn shorts that day, so since then the only time I wore shorts on campus was for field hockey practice, and maybe two or three times outside of that.

I told him around the end of last year that I got tired of it, and that we weren’t friends so I wasn’t comfortable with him acting so close to me. And that was that.

Or so I thought.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I had seen him on the bus in the morning from time to time but since I had field hockey I never took the bus home. And then after the season ended I was practically failing all of my classes so I stayed after for extra help so I didn’t take the bus home for a few more weeks.

I was feelin all whatever inside + I didn’t go to sleep so I was up early and I decided to wear makeup to school. So I get on the bus to go home and I find an empty seat and I sit down. A couple minutes later A sits down right across from me. It took him some seconds but he realized it was me and that I had makeup on. He suddenly had a complete change. He kept asking me if there was a guy and if I was trying to impress someone, which I wasn’t. I was just wearing a crop top and high waisted ripped jeans, and I guess that was my mistake. Cause he kept looking me up and down and I eventually asked him what he was doing and he was just like “damn, you’re fine”. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good compliment, but from him it just doesn’t feel good.

The next of recent incidents happened last Tuesday. I don’t blame G for any of this, just the fact that he’s a headass that doesn’t know when taking a dare will do way more harm than good. I had to hear his one from G cause I didn’t hear it go down I just heard my name.

I was standing in my seat listening to music and chilling by the window. Most of the seats were full so G and A were sitting together a couple rows ahead of me and on the other side. Occasionally I would catch A looking at me, and then G looking but hardly as much. A few minutes passed and I heard someone shout my name. I looked up and I saw A and G both looking at me and smiling. I didn’t really know what had just happened, I just knew that at least some part of it had to do with me. Once we had gotten off at my stop G, my other bestie and I were all walking and I remembered what happened on the bus. I asked G about what had happened and he told me this:

“So A and I were sitting there talking and he kept turning back to look at you. He turned back to me and said ‘I would totally smash (me)’, and I jus said ‘understandable’. And then he dared me that I wouldn’t say that out loud, so I did. I shouted ‘I would pipe (me)’ out loud.”

After he told me that I wasn’t surprised but I was also surprised. Like, I always knew that A was just some teenage boy who’s sole intentions and desires are driven by his libido, but he’s into bad girls and I’m about as good as they get. So naturally I connected two and two and knew that he was just tryna smash and not trying to start a relationship or whatever, which I’m absolutely fine with and honestly thankful for cause I’m not really into headass stoners. Anyway, the whole talking about me thing without me knowing made me uncomfortable, but I’d rather them talk like that when I’m not around rather than doing that while I’m right there.

And finally the most recent incident. This happened last friday. I wore makeup again cause I obviously don’t learn from past mistakes. I was sitting on the bus and G sat next to me because there weren’t many other available seats left on the bus. I was the only one he knew. And a little later A and his pal walked onto the bus. He kind of slowed down when he got to our seat. He looked at me and said that I looked cute today He...he wanted to do some stupid handshake with me, but I didn’t want to, so I held my hand close to me. But that didn’t stop him, he grabbed my hand and tried to do the handshake but when that didn’t work out, he used holding my hand as a distraction to try and go in and touch my face again. But this time G made up for his mistake on Tuesday and grabbed A’s hand and told him to knock it off. My Bestie C (the one with me when G told me about the incident on Tuesday), asked if I was ok when we got off the bus. She was practically fuming and she kept asking if he touched my face. G assured her that he didn’t, but I was the one telling her that she was overreacting and that nothing serious even happened.

Ever since Friday I haven’t stopped thinking about everything that’s happened with A (this starting to sound like PLL 😂) and I don’t know what I should do about it. I feel like I’m overreacting and that this is how he is with all his friends. But then again, we’re not friends so I don’t really think he should be treating me like this. But at the same time I don’t want him to get in trouble, but I feel like if I wait to see what happens next it might be too late...

So I’m asking for help. Is this harassment/sexual harassment?