Omg so stupid. My husband and I have been more open lately about past relationships. He tends to be very uncomfortable opening up about his past, and I've tried explaining how learning more about how he became who he is is good for us. Not number of partners or details, but a little about how he met people, how long they dated, the nature of the relationship, and why it ended. Anyway, my husband has traveled a ton before me. I get the sense he has a colorful sexual past, that I'd like to live in ignorance from.

But, he was telling me a little more yesterday about how he met a girl in Costa Rica and dated her for a few months (she actually lived only a couple hours from him at the time but met on a vacation). Anyway, he has also told me the girl he was madly in love with in college and completely broke his heart, they dated on and off for four years, but he took her to Europe and almost proposed. I guess they were fighting so he didn't end up proposing to her, ever. He also told me that looking back, he can see how they didn't have much in common, and they were trying to make it work but it just didn't. Well, obviously. He has said a bunch of times that he loves me because I laugh at what he calls his "stupid" jokes, am very caring, nonjudgmental, and we share the same values. I don't wear makeup or try very hard to look like some of the very polished women I've seen. He tells me he likes that I don't wear makeup. He's very loving and affectionate, so he doesn't give me reason to feel insecure. He even told me when we were talking yesterday that with all his dating he just never felt that connection but he does with me and he can't explain it. He proposed to me after only a couple months. He said yesterday that he wished he found me sooner so we could've done more together and loved each other longer. It was so sweet, especially because he doesn't open up much. Anyway, he also mentioned his trips weren't romantic when I teased him about romantic rendezvous because of the Costa Rica story. He said he only traveled with his long time GF and the Costa Rica girl.

Onto the stupid thing...

I was looking at his external hard drive of pictures, and found that there were actually a couple of other girls that he either met on a trip and then followed along or actually knew and flew with there. There were pictures of other girls too, and the weird thing is they are literally all so different from each other. Redhead, thin, thick, brunette, fair skin, blue eyes, dark skin, Hispanic, Asian, and what looks like Iberian. Some wore tons of makeup, some had lots of tattoos and fake nails... It makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach, not the dating necessarily, but comparing myself to them. I think mostly it's feeling like I don't measure up somehow. And maybe even like the trips we take or things we do together can't compete with his prolific past and memories. We've traveled in the US and to Europe and Mexico. We are even planning our next trips, but it feels tainted somehow. Like every place he's been sort of belongs to someone else.

I know how ridiculous and unfair these feelings are and I won't share them with him because it's my issue, but do you have any advice to get over feeling insignificant compared to his other travel ventures and random partners?

Logically, I know he's with me, he picked me, if he wanted to be with them or if it were meant to be, he would've been with them. I feel secure in our love and marriage and excited about our future, but I feel a little bit (lies, I feel it heavily) that adventure together has sort of been taken from me. I don't know how else to explain it.

Any constructive help or words of support are appreciated.