False Positive

My youngest is 9. I have wanted another baby since she could walk. My ex-husband didn't and so I had accepted I wouldn't have more kids. Fast forward to a couple months ago and my fiancé tells me that he is ready to try for a baby with me. For the last week I have been super nauseous and everything smells so strong. I was convinced there was no way I could be pregnant since this is our first month TTC. I gave in over the weekend and took a test. It was positive but super faint and thin, so I took another test and it was negative. I took them pretty close together so I started to think my urine was too diluted. Later that night I took another test after not peeing for several hours. It was positive, but the line didn't look right, it was darker toward one side and faded out to basically nothing. I still wasn't satisfied that things were right. When I got up in the middle of the night to pee I took yet another test (at this point I'm up to about 8). This one was positive. I'm looking at all these tests, 5 negative, 2 sorta positive and 1 positive. I'm still not feeling great about these odds, so I'm the morning I went and got a CBE combo with a normal test and a digital test. The normal comes up negative, so I wait 5 hours and take the digital. It said not pregnant, but part way though waiting I realized that I didn't hold it in the cup long enough. My fiancé is telling me to relax because I got my positive, but I'm far too high strung for that. Later that evening, I took 3 more tests. 2 FRER and 1 family dollar brand. All are negative. At this point I've been obsessively reading online and realized that all 3 of the positives were false positives. The first one was due pooling. The other 2 I laid too close to my opk's and got dye transfer. Today would have been the first day of my period (if I was regular), so I took one more test just to be sure. It was negative. I know I didn't actually lose anything, but spending 2 days thinking there was a real possibility that I was finally going to have a baby, only to find out I'm not, hurts. Today is my birthday and all I want to do is hide in bed. I've canceled all my plans, and have ignored all the calls.