How didn’t I know ?

I’m on glow everyday with all you wonderful ladies. Reading , learning & seeing what everyone else is going through. But when I started to have Hot flashes, headaches & extreme nausea it didn’t click with me that I was pregnant.

In all honesty my fiancé and I were trying , but never in my wildest dreams did I think in the first month it would happen.

I was obviously not eating and complaining a fair bit about how bad I was feeling which triggered my mum and aunt to ask if I was pregnant. In my head I’m like “there’s not a chance. I’m sure I had my period 2 weeks ago? Right” this went on for a few days and I eventually gave in and told them I’ll prove them wrong. I went and bought the test & was in no hurry to take it. Because I knew the answer and I was going to shove it in their face.

I took the test and placed it on the side of the bath. Didn’t even look at it “because I knew 🙄”

Fixed my face and hair then went to leave the bathroom and thought better grab the test.

Couldn’t believe it. 2 lines. 2 beautiful pink lines. Standing there in shock and ready to cry I ran out to my mum and told her. By this time I’m in absolute tears. Excited, scared, shocked, thinking it’s not real. So I went and bought a digital knowing that your levels have to be higher for it. Did the test wrong and only put it in for 5 seconds not 20. So I left it and walked away to come back looking at “pregnant 1-2”.

How? What? When? And shit how do I tell my fiancé.

Besides the shock and utter disbelief I was so extremely excited.

10 days later it was confirmed my levels were dropping not rising and no one can tell me what happened.

My partner and I were devastated. And now he refuses to try again.

I want a baby more than anything, but I guess I’m waiting.