I dont want my baby

I'm 8 wks 3 days pregnant. I have had 3 miscarriages. the first one was when I was 16. I was 20wks when I was kicked with steel tie boots repeatedly in the stomach and back until I lost my baby. the second one was when I was 19. The placenta implanted to low so I lost the baby at 9 wks. The third was earlier this year at 5 wks when I was 20 the baby didnt develope properly due to my husbands sperm. Me and my husband have been trying for over a year for a baby. We were heart broken at the miscarriage. We decided to split up in October because we didn't feel like we loved each other any more. I moved out. I slept with my ex and after wards me and my husband talked about it and decided against a plan B pill. I am now pregnant. It's not my husband's which he knows and we are currently back together and are going to try to make our marriage work. But I dont want my baby. I'm not excited and haven't been able to get excited. All I can think about is giving it up for adoption.