7 weeks, still no heartbeat


In September this year I suffered an early miscarriage. My next cycle started in 26 days, early, but I figured that my body clock would be off for awhile.

We decided not to track ovulation, temperature, intercourse, or think about it at all the next cycle. Bam. I was pregnant that next cycle. Completely unsure when I ovulated, but my history has been longer cycles, about 35 days on average.

My fears of miscarriage brought us to our first US appointment early just to verify that everything was there and measure the little bean. The midwife on call did the US right in the office and said we were measuring at 6 weeks 1 day. I was over a week behind where I should be according to my LMP and she could not see the heartbeat clearly.

She advised we come back in a few weeks. For another US but said everything looked good otherwise.

My doctor got wind of the results and ordered another US for today. Well, I'm measuring exactly where I should be from the last US, 7 weeks and 4 days. However, there is no heartbeat, again. The US technican didn't tell us this just gave us a picture and sent us upstairs to speak with the doctor.

The doctors nurse came in and immediately apologized for our loss, she called a it a "demise". I was in shock. Confused. She then pointed to messages I'd sent the doctor about slight spotting I'd had after sex or an extremely early blood test that showed my progesterone was at 8 - low. She argued with me about the date of my LMP and how I ovulated in day 14 so I was far behind where I should be even at the first US and begged me to accept the loss. I told her I had no symptoms of miscarriage. No cramping or bleeding, all my symptoms from pregnancy were there. I also said it’s highly likely I ovulated later than day 14. She insisted we get on with it and then said the midwife didn't know what she was doing and the baby was probably that size the week before last but she measured it wrong.

I waited patiently to see the doctor. The doctor was rushed for time, came in, apologized but listened to what I had to say: Did the baby JUST die?

The doctor looked at my scans and became confused. She said everything looked good, the size would be exactly where it needed to be from the last ultrasound, the egg sack was there and perfectly round, the uterus was full of fluid and in good shape, my cervix was long and closed. I had no symptoms of miscarriage and none of my pregnancy symptoms had subsided. She said she's seen a lot of strange things and it was still early. We've opted to do blood tests to see what comes of it.

Other than the cramps from the US technican prodded my cervix relentlessly, I feel pretty much the same. Disheartened and disillusioned - pissed off the nurse tried to convince me to grieve (whether she ends up being right or not I don't care), and just looking for some reason to hang on here.

On the one hand you have a nurse convinced it's a “demise”because she's also convinced that the midwife didn't do the scan with their "subpar" US equipment correctly, on the other hand the doctor's exact words were: now that I've looked at the scans I'm not sure what will happen.

Anyone have anything close to this to share with a good outcome?

I'm prepared for the worst, it's not my first rodeo here.

This would be MC number 3. I have two beautiful children to hold when all is said and done. But if there's a chance it's still too early to give up hope, I'd like to hear your stories.

Where I'm at? I don't feel like something is wrong...except with maybe the doctors office. That's a first for me.