Am I being rude??

My friend just asked me to come celebrate her 21st birthday with her and her college friends. Her birthday is the 23rd. I told her that I have a family Christmas party that day, but I have a gift for her and will bring it to her. She told me I am rude and selfish for not coming to celebrate with her. Please also keep in mind that my 21st birthday was November 28th and she didn't even tell me happy birthday let alone come celebrate with me. Do you think I'm being rude for not going though?

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