Little help?

Okay so, I can’t finger myself... like I’ve watched masturbation vids, just to get to know how to.. but it isn’t working. Whenever I finger myself, I kind of feel uncomfortable, and it kind of hurts. And I can’t go in deep, with only one finger.

I feel more comfortable rubbing my clit and all, but I’m kind of scared that not being able to enjoy penetration, even with a finger, would mean that I won’t enjoy sex. (Yeah I’m a Virgin)

I’m nervous for my boyfriend to do it, just in case I turn him off, so I’ve been putting it off. I don’t cum that way. So... any tips??