The need to be special, the need to be unique..

I don’t really know how to talk about this. And I feel really embarrassed by it. For a long time I’ve had this feeling inside myself the need to be special or the need to be unique I honestly feel sick with myself. I have struggled a lot with mental health particularly when I was a child and a teen and I always felt like what I went through was unique to me, when I see other people with issues similar to mine I feel almost jealous or some kind of way that makes me feel like I have to out do them or be more special than them. When I like or enjoy something i will suddenly lose interest in it or hate that I like it when it suddenly becomes popular or when I see someone else liking it. I don’t even understand this and it makes me feel horrible about myself and puts me mentally in a bad place. Maybe I’m a selfish person and I just constantly need need need something special to feel special and when it’s not mine anymore I feel like it’s ruined. Or when I have to share something with someone like a personal experience for example it feels like it’s been taken away from me. Please help. I don’t understand what this is inside me and I hate it and want to know if there’s anyone else out there going through something similar.