Maybe someone else feels this way or has felt this way, and tell me it gets better... I’m super excited for my baby to be here. We have over a month left til his due date. I’ve had a super easy breezy pregnancy so I can’t complain much. Sometimes I’ve had bad days, but for the most part it’s been easy! I don’t even feel pregnant or what atleast what I’ve been told pregnancy is like, n or feel like anything has changed yet.

This makes me feel like I don’t have this strong connection with my baby though. I feel weird if I try to talk to him through my stomach. I’ll make comments to him, I’ve played music for him... but sometimes I feel so awkward about trying to really talk to him.

I didn’t start feeling him til later on bc of my placenta position..it’s awesome to feel him now and watch him moving ... I know he is there and I know he is coming, but sometimes it doesn’t feel real. I really don’t feel liken I’m going to be a mom and that my fiancé is going to be a dad. I feel so bad feeling that way sometimes. I don’t think it’s fully hit my fiancé yet either. Like he has done so much for me these past 8 months, he’s done so much with getting everything ready for our son when I wanted t done (the bedroom).. he got a full sized bed out of our house by himself (we have a staircase) and into a shed in the pouring rain because I wanted to start our baby’s room that day so bad. We talk about the baby and we love him... fiancé he tries to feel him and he does a lot more lately, but I feel like he doesn’t talk enough about him. We hardly say his name... I noticed earlier when we were talking and my fiancé (looking into getting a new better paying job since I’ll be on maternity leave soon) was saying how he wants a good life for me, for our son, and him, that he hesitated because it was like he didn’t know if he should call our baby by his name or what... when we talk I never know if I should use his name or call him the “baby” or what. It just doesn’t feel real right now and at the same time it’s coming up so fast and I’m freaking out! I’m nervous because it’s coming so fast, but I can’t wait for my little guy to be here at the same time... but I am so nervous about labor & taking care of a FRAGILE infant. I’ve always been so scared about holding my friends newborns, how will I be able to hold my own?? I’m hoping since he’s mine I will feel different.

I’ve been in school (college) and working full time so the only places I’ve been are work, school, and doctors appointments. I haven’t spent much time with friends the past few months. I feel like when I do try some of them have an excuse now. I feel left out at work, with my friends.. I miss seeing my friends. If I don’t reach out then I don’t hear from them anymore.(maybe now and then they will...)

At work I feel like I can’t ever call out or leave early if I feel like something is wrong and need to see my doctor. I waited a few days before I finally called my doctor one time, who wanted me to come in to the hospital ASAP to get me checked out.... i has to leave work early and someone else had to come in..I feel like it was such a big deal. That same week I had to go back and see my doctor bc i was having more issues and had to call out...I got these things held against me the other day by an employee (who calls out all the time or leaves early .. one example of him calling out is because he poked his ear too hard With a Q tip..........)

I have been so overworked physically and mentally between school and work... never getting enough sleep to where I’ve obtained the worst dark circles that no amount of makeup can cover..I’m hoping since school is out that I’m able to finally catch up on sleep.

I’m just upset too because my dad and brother haven’t cAme down to see me the entire time I’ve been pregnant. They live 4 hours away. I’ve even seen my sisters who live 10 hours away! My mom is so excited and has done a lot for us as fR as buying things and organizing the shower, bringing me food when I can’t leave work... but lately she always has an excuse to not do something with me. She spends more time with someone else’s family than her own I feel like.

My pregnancy has been easy for the most part, but everything else has been rough and tiring. I feel bad for feeling like I’m not about to be a mom. I’m terrified for labor. At the same time I still can’t wait for him to be here and see him in person and watch him grow. Ultrasounds and him moving around always make me so excited. I just dont know if it’s bc of lack of support ? I feel like everyone is “excited” but when it comes to helping me I feel like it’s such a hassle. (minus my fiancé because he has done so much for me and our little man and he’s not even here yet)

Sorry this is soooo long, but I need to rant. My emotions have been crazy lately. :(