Shocked

Guys, my fiancé told me a few days ago after 4 1/2 years that he wasn’t sure about our relationship, so we decided to take a break. He was trying to break off our relationship all together, and I told him we weren’t giving up on our history together that quickly, so we decided to just call it a break, and I told him to take some time to think about it. I told him that if anything was going to happen with another girl that I wanted him to tell me and I wanted ya to talk about it before anything happened so we could decide from there. I brought up the idea of another girl two or three times, and all of those times, he said there was somebody who he basically had feelings for, but nothing had happened with.

For two days, I was a mess. I cried for almost two days straight, I had panic attack after panic attack, I stopped eating, and I barely made it to work.

Then yesterday, he tells me we need to talk. He proceeds to tell me how he wasn’t completely honest and that before we ever called a break, he had kissed this girl, and that THE DAY AFTER we called it a break, he had sex with her. I told him we could still be together if we decided we wanted to work past it, and that we could call it a one time fuck up and just work past it, and he basically told me he’s done fighting for our relationship because he has her. So we broke up.

I am in complete shock. I don’t know what to do and I haven’t fully processed any of this yet I don’t think. My stomach is in constant knots, my heart aches so horribly, and I still can’t eat.

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel and I needed somewhere to vent because we agreed to be vague about why we broke up on social media