Am I being dramatic?

I am a 20 year old female and my boyfriend of 7 months is 21. The issue is he has an 11/11:30pm curfew. 95% of the time he will not break curfew. But on a few FEW occasions he will.

On the other hand I have no curfew. But because of his curfew we can’t do regular couple shit like

Go to the movies late

Have late movie nights at my house

Have sleepovers at mutual friends’ houses

Spend a night at a hotel

Get tacos at 2AM in the morning

Study till 3AM

just chill

Sometimes I feel like I’m complaining and annoying but honestly at this age I just want to be free. The problem has become a big deal and it’s gotten to the point where I’m envious of my friends and the freedom they have with the guy/guys they’re seeing. I feel like I’m 14.

It’s also lowkey embarrassing but I don’t really care about that factor or what people think too much. I just want us to be able to have fun and I feel like it’s hard to do with such an early curfew. I’m in my prime years lol.


Hi guys, thanks for all of your votes and responses. I have seen a few repeated comments and questions I would like to address.

He is NOT on probation, he has a curfew set by his parents who he lives at home with. We are in college, and I believe he lives at home to save money and because he doesn't want to live with 3 other guys in a cramped apartment like he did his first year of college. However, HE DOES PAY HIS OWN car insurance, phone bill, food expenses and does give his dad $200-$300 to pay for a bill or two.

His parents are West African and very strict. It's not about waking them up at night lol. They simply don't want him out at that time. NO we are not partying or clubbing! Because of our schedule, we simply need the late hours if we are going to spend time together. For example, during the school week we are at school and studying. During the weekend we study and he also works. On a typical Saturday he might work until 4pm or even as late as 7pm. But say he works until 4pm, he gets home and showers and naps and will message me around 6pm. He is dressed and at the mall by 7pm, we have a nice dinner and are finished by 8:15, the movie starts by 9pmand ends at 11pm. HE HAS BROKEN CURFEW. It's simple things like that. And no he cannot just not work, as I mentioned before he covers all of his own expenses!

His mom calls him numerous times throughout the day and when he gets near to curfew the calls increase, past curfew and she becomes FRANTIC! No matter where we are, the movies, theatre, etc. We try to do things earlier but it is not always possible.

As for going over his house, that is typically the solution, however it gets boring to always go to his house and never go on dates or hangout with friends for more than a couple of hours. Furthermore, (I know I have ALOT OF PROBLEMS SORRY), his dad doesn't like him having guest over me and doesn't like me or anyone (I love his mom though lol). His dad works the night shift and is usually gone by 10pm, that's when I come over. He doesn't have a bedtime guys, it is just a curfew.

Finally although this is outside of the question, I want to add that this curfew gives him a lot of distress and causes anxiety, it does not strengthen his relationship with his parents nor make him a better student. He has failed Gen Chem for the 2nd time, while my GPA is over a 3.8 and I am an Econ major. I don't have a curfew but my mother trusts me and I have never done anything to break her trust. I think in the past he has had incidents that I am not fully aware of. However, as of now he is not doing anything "bad". We do worst things on his couch with his mother asleep upstairs than we do out at 2AM just chilling with friends. LOL.

My question is simply am I being dramatic for being bothered by all this?

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