I don't know anymore

I told my S/O I wouldn't test anymore unless I missed my period. We waste too much money doing so and it's just a let down to only see negative tests. We said this 3-4 months ago. I just think I should test this month. Part of me says you are 100 gonna let yourself down but I don't know I just feel I should. I don't want to sneak around my S/O though. What really triggered this is I has a very lucky feeling after baby making. Then the two days after my mother tells me she had a dream last night about me being pregnant. Keep in mind no one besides us two know we are TTC due to the fact that I don't want added pressure. What do my lovey ladies think? Am I just driving myself crazy?

ADDED my period is due anywhere from the 30-1st