Losing a love to gain a love πŸ’”

Ho

To you my ex, I wish we kept our promises to one another. I wish love was enough. I wish we waited on having our newborn. I wish we were enough for each other and most importantly I wish you the best.

It's easier for us to hate one another instead of letting go. Every night when you leave my house to see your month old kid, I cry in my bed. I cry so hard that I shake. My shirts gets soaked from crying so much. Until you I never had a real heartbreak, after being on this earth for 23 years you were my first love. I regret letting my walls down for you, I regret ignoring all the signs of being manipulated and torn down inside. I regret losing myself, and most importantly I regret giving you so much power to hurt me. The night I found out I was pregnant I wanted to talk about our options together. And instead of figuring out together you just gave me an ultimatum. That even if I thought about aborting our kid you'd leave.

My child is the biggest blessing in my life. I thank you for that, But I had to lose a love to gain one. And losing you made me lose myself even more.

It hasn't gotten any easier, I hope one night I won't cry as much, and I hope one day our kid will see how much her parents loved one another.