Let me know what you think I need advice

He’s broken up w me 2 times because he was afraid of not being good enough for me & he didn’t know if he wanted me out of lust... he cane back to me crying his eyes out saying that he wanted me back blah blah blah... we were broken up for 2 months & I slept w someone because I really thought it was over... I do value sex & I think it’s something important but i did it for me, i did it to get my mind off of everything & I didn’t do it w a stranger he was a friend & idk how to explain that. I’m not making excuses but I shouldn’t be judged I feel like no matter what I do he’s always finding a way out..

the other day we went to the movies & he grabbed my boob & i told him we weren’t ready for that, I want us to just be us & not worry about that.

I care about him emotionally & he has a lot of stuff going on which is also why i don’t think HE is ready