I’m scared to be a mother😭

I’m 18 years old and I just had my daughter December 16th 2017 she’s been the best thing ever to me but I’m terrified😥 me and my boyfriend get along half of the time he lost his job two months ago so there’s no money he gets money from the government but only 250$ and he has 495$ car payment 100$ phone bill 150$ insurance bill I haven’t worked a day in my life I have baby sat but I have had to stop cuss I don’t have time cuss I have a new born I have no appetite I can only eat once a day when she sleep I’m awake cuss I’m afraid half the time I’m gonna Loose her I cry over everything I live with my grandma in a apartment with my boyfriend and my grandma constantly wants to fight over anything and everything I didnt finish school cuss my mom took me out of the 3rd and I missed so much so I barely know a lot and I’m terrified that I’m not smart enough for her or capable to give her a perfect life I have had a terrible life I was in foster care cuss my mother choose a guy over her kids I lost the only person I was close to in my family (grandfather) I don’t want to go to some one and talk to them about my feeling cuss I don’t want them to look at me like a unfit mother! I just don’t know what to do😭 all I want is for my daughter to be happy and have a beautiful life and grow up and be something in life I just feel like I’m breaking slowly I lost all of my friends cuss they hate my boyfriend he’s done nothing but cheat and lie and every one knows that he still has his friends but I don’t have any and I’m not upset that I had a kid I don’t like to party I don’t like being crazy I’ve had grow up at 12 my lawyer and the judge told me at that time that I can’t be a child that I have to be strong and think like an adult cuss if I didn’t then I would be stuck I’ve never been able to be child ever and that’s what I don’t want my daughter to ever go threw I want her to have a good life a fun life I want her to play with dolls and be a kid when she gets older but I’m so scared that I’m not capable of giving that to her so I’m so scared and restless 😩

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