My SO and I have wanted a baby for a long time, but things just haven't been ideal. We've waited. And waited. Did some more waiting. And then, finally, our finances, work, and support just clicked into place. We were ready to have a baby. I can't even tell you the excitement I felt as I looked over our budget and saw that we could finally afford an addition to our family.

So, I downloaded this app and did as much research as possible. We changed our lifestyles, we read facts, and we did everything you think about doing in the first month. My SO and I both have very high sex drives, so bding wasn't an issue at all.

I suppose my biggest mistake is thinking that it was going to be easy. I would do my dance every night or every other night and then BAM. Baby. I knew this morning, one day until my expected AF, I would get an answer. I honestly expected that answer to be my pregnancy.

But it wasnt. I watched that pink line form and was confised. Hey wait! Aren't there supposed to be two of those? I think my test is broken. Yes. It's faulty. Well, maybe I am just not looking in the right light. I sit there, on the toilet with my pants around my ankles, and I turn the test in every angle looking for a trace of that second line. I even stand to try and change the lighting.

BFN. One line. The next thing I feel is anger. I am so angry. I did everything right. I logged every day. I changed my entire life style. Isn't this supposed to be easy? Everyone around me is getting pregnant. Why not me?

I thought "I'll do whatever it takes, just please let this test be broken" I realize at this point that I am going through the stages of grief. One after another. It takes half an hour for me to get to acceptance.

This is my first test. My first month TTC. I didn't realize how powerful a BFN can be. I didn't realize how much I really wanted a baby. I've read comments where people have been trying for years. I can't imagine going through that for so long. Feeling that roller coaster of emotion every month for so long. My heart goes out to them. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever had an unwanted BFN.

Because I finally understand.