Am I a horrible person? I know it's a lot to read, bear w/ me

Question

Okay, so a week ago I got super drunk (legal limit is 0.08, I got 0.24), and I did a series of awful things I do not remember. 1. Was I went to my bfs house (who was also drunk w me, but not as drunk as I was), and I tried to have sex w/ him as he screamed for me to get off of him. 2. His friend had to pull me off my bf and I proceeded to try to have sex w/ his friend. 3. I puked all over my bfs house and he had to pay $100 to clean it up. 4. I got alcohol poisoning and had to go to the ER...I apologized to everyone involved, I paid back my no longer bf, I'm trying really hard to make things better. Am I awful?

Answer

please stop...

Answer

No you’re not awful but it sounds like you need to cut off your drinking...

Answer

oh thats pretty embarrassing but hey... shit happens . move on and never look back . also , nvr get out of control drunk like that again . if you cant handle hard liquor stick with the bubbly stuff and be safe . you are lucky to have been with people that didnt take advantage of you .

Answer

I would not say you are a horrible person. I’m going to be completely honest with you as you should be with yourself, since that’s really the only way to come to an understanding of your behaviors and the reasons behind them. Your post doesn’t divulge whether drinking or blacking out is a common occurrence, but I’m going to share a bit in case it is or the possibility it may become an issue in the future. Now, if this was a one time thing, than things do happen. Sometimes you drink too much and get out of control so being conscious of how much you drink in the future may be  the solution. It is so easy to get caught up and not realize how deep you are until it is too late. And if after reading, you’d want to talk, I’m always down to listen or give an opinion or advice or just chat, because there is so much more to it than what I’ve written. It’s not easy, especially doing it alone as I have. I would do anything to help someone whether they are just beginning to encounter these situations or if they’re already deep in. So if it’s more than this one incident you spoke of than maybe continue reading.
I’ve consistently “self-medicated” with alcohol and drugs since I was in my early teens and I’m not implying you have some underlying issue, but it is a possibility and something to deeply think about. I can highly relate to the incident you described as I’ve been in a very similar circumstance, along with others and an uncountable number of other humiliating, dangerous and what I now consider regretful choices and situations. I used to believe these situations I got myself into and my actions were hilarious stories and entertaining (and so did my friends, which is a entirely another related topic), but when I look back now, I could not feel more differently.
Ever since I began drinking it was always to excess and I blacked out 99% of the time. The past five or so years though, it became an every day habit. I’m currently 27 and less than a year ago, I finally came to the realization that I needed to change immediately...this occurred after almost two decades of use. Within the past couple weeks, I’ve began to feel disgusted and even scared by my past actions, which I have never felt in my life. I assume this is part of the process of becoming “sober”. You hear that a person must hit “rock bottom” to recognize the need for change. I believe I finally hit mine and without the knowledge of your history, maybe you’ve hit yours as well. I won’t go into too many specifics, but I’ve been dating the same amazing man for about 2.5 years so he’s dealt with my drinking antics, but I made the worst mistake of my life during one of my nightly blackouts. My actions that night caused a chain reaction in him and I almost lost him in more than one way. That was it for me- I just stopped. My boyfriend and I are working hard together to fully mend our relationship and although it’s rough at times we’re making progress. And I’m also woking hard at becoming healthier physically and mentally. I truly hope whatever your situation is, that it all comes together for you.

Answer

Thats binge drinking and it's dangerous

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It sounds like you may need help with a drinking problem. Is this the first time you’ve gotten this drunk or do you do binge drink on a regular basis?  Obviously there can be very negative consequences to binge drinking as demonstrated by your experience...losing friends/loved ones, financial impacts, health impacts, even death.
Consider joining Alcoholics Anonymous or getting other help.

Answer

I’m so sorry, I tried to scroll and clicked the kys one 
SORRY 💖

Am I a horrible person? I know it's a lot to read, bear w/ me

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