Night shift with a toddler.

Me and my husband are correction officers.. And I've had the worst time ever dealing with being away from our son working 12 hour shifts (LO is 18 months) working night shift.. So I got on day shift.. I hate it. It's horrible. I'm always in an as mood now . I keep getting told I'm a bad mom bc I prefer nights over days bc with being on nights my LO spends three nights a week at his grandmothers. And on days I have to wake him up at 4am to take him to his granny's. I don't know how to explain it to my husband bc it's different for dads. Not to mention I want another baby... Things are so confusing I'm an emotional wreck.