Possible pregnancy?

So, my period suppose to start next Monday. however I have started to puke this morning and I feel like my nose is kind of sensible. My period last month was somehow weird. normally it starts really heavy. but last month it started with spotting on and off. And there was like 2 days that it was a normal flow, nothing heavy. I thought that maybe it was implantation, but it lasted around 5 or 6 days. So I'm wondering, if maybe I could be pregnant... I'm scare of taking a pregnancy test because I really don't know if I'm ready to have another child. Even if I would love to have another child, my insecurities always kick in... there was one time that my boyfriend told me that I was a terrible mother and that the greatest favor I could have done to my daughter would had been abortion. And even though I know he didn't mean it, that he said it because he was mad. He even apologize, but those words have been almost tattooed in my soul and mind. The other day he even told me that he wanted to have kids with me and all. But I'm so scared... I feel like depression have consume me... I need some advice, please. This anxiety is killing me. I don't even have that much of money to go and buy a $15 pregnancy test. I just pay my rent, what can I do? I'm sorry if this post end up being too long. I just need some peace in my mind.