Mommy Shaming... Husband doesn’t get it

My husband says that I’m too worried about what other people think. We have a 6 month old and I am constantly second guessing my decisions. I have experienced a few instances of mommy shaming when out in public so I am extra cautious. One time I had a stranger tell me that my baby was too hot and shouldn’t be wearing a jacket. Then about 5 minutes later another stranger told me my baby looked too cold while wearing the same jacket. Another time my baby was fussing a bit while I was by myself trying to load groceries into the bottom of the stroller and someone told me to pick up the baby (that he wanted to be held and I shouldn’t let him cry). Yes, I know he wants to be held but I am by myself and there is a line behind me and these groceries aren’t going to load themselves... I was trying to just finish and get to the car.

Anyway, my husband says that I am overreacting. That I blow everything out of proportion and that he has never experienced any of these shaming incidents. I’ve tried to tell him that no of course he hasn’t because mothers are held to different standards than fathers but he says that isn’t true. It totally is true. If he takes our son out on his own all that people do is basically give him accolades for being present. “Oh, what a great dad pushing baby in the stroller”, “It’s so nice to see a father so involved with his baby”, “oh, you can tell he sure loves his daddy.”

It just bothers me. There is an obvious double standard and he won’t acknowledge it. If he dresses the baby in the wrong outfit for the weather it’s humorous. If I do the same thing, Im neglectful.