I love to write stories, ones that I hope will reach out and touch or even help others. Hopefully this will help some of you in some way, whether you are the mother or the stepmother. 🖤

"Stepmother."

Somehow this title has become tainted, and almost certainly causes a person to think of any and all negative outcomes associated with it. It's partly due to the storyline of damn near every related movie that has ever played upon our television screens. In addition to this, women are noticeably only ever found criticizing and bashing their child's stepmother through their social media outlets, or through girl talk on their monthly ladies night out; which causes a large population to assume most of every "Stepmother" story, is a horror one.

Let me just tell you this:

Sometimes a particular person will come into your life whether you truthfully ever wanted them there or not. Before the greeting, you will have naturally predetermined your own assumption of them. You will assume that they could never rise to your expectation, and believe that there is absolutely no way in hell that they could fill your shoes. Of course that is what we first assume their intention always is, right? We assume they just want to barge in without our consent, step on our toes, turn our world entirely upside down, and blend themselves into the lifestyle that we have already designed to our liking. The simple answer to this is a huge, bold print, with a massive font sized NO.

Believe it or choose to not, but there are those exceptional few. The few that surpass your expectation, and hell sometimes they may even seem to master different obstacles and situations better than you. To which that is undoubtedly, and absolutely okay. They don't barge into your life without first being hopeful that your consent will one day be given. Mind you this isn't a consent that they verbally need to hear; more like one that they hope to feel through your actions when they are in your presence. God knows being in your presence will rattle them at first, just as being in theirs will rattle you. You will both unknowingly go through many of the same emotions together, despite what you let on. She will purposefully balance herself in such a way that she does not step on your toes, but know that she will always have a seat reserved in his cheering section if she were to ever need it. If she is a good woman that loves your child enough she will purposefully do her best at steadying the shaky grounds she has created, and try to adapt into your world of coparenting. Which I should remind you now that just like no one gave you the handbook on parenting, no one blessed her with a precise how-to manual on step-parenting either. Cut her some slack. Her goal isn't to throw your life into complete chaos, or to turn your child into a miniature version of herself. I'd imagine all she ever wanted from day one, is to be the next best mother figure for your child when you can't be around. Let me ask you this..what is more important; Clinging onto your false assumption of who she should be, or choosing to embrace the woman that has chosen to love and protect your child? The answer to that should be as simple as breathing. Choose to embrace her. Build that steady platform, provide your child with a united team of parents that love them, and befriend the woman that fills your shoes when you can't be around.

It may be one of the hardest, yet most gratifying decisions you have ever made.

I know it was for me.