Still going through it

My father left at a young age (5) and my mother met a guy he moved in right away. I remember my brother broke my door so we had to take it completely down we all ended up in my room me and my two brothers then BOOM! I woke up to a grown man naked on the side of me I jumped up and crawled in the corner as the light peaked in from my window he was crunched over like a demon starring at me ever since then I have sleeping problems FRIDAY after 10pm. It continued to get worst I started the problem with eating at night I went down stairs to get Raw Bacon (dont grudge) ate a piece and started walking back up stairs and bomb he sat there on the couch waiting for me TV was mute and he was too, as he jerked his self off with blue magic(grease) and pulling my arm telling me your mom doesnt know she will upset I make her happy dont tell her ill buy you whatever you want😩😩😩 I was only 5 so what you think I did to think will keep my mommy happy... he brought me to the store before school and brought me seeds and sent me on my way to class 🤢. One night I ran in my moms bed he followed me and started fingering me as I held my moms arm tight crying but my mom didn’t wake up so I just laid there and let he get up. The story goes on and on til I was 12 to much to write but just know I still mentally deal with this 😩