We feel sorry for ourselves or want pity but thats selfish?? As if you shouldn't want sympathy or you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself when most of the time we cry is because we feel sorry for ours

e.g you lost a friend today..

Your crying because lost that friend?

Or because they are not in YOUR life anymore and you (obviously) don't like that

See when you phrase it this way it sounds worse in a way (but more honest?) but can someone give me a reason why this is okay because i can't find a way to word it without it sounding bad and not just because it's okay to cry and it't a way to vent our emotions and so on but Why is it okay to want sympathy or feel sorry for ourselves?