Mother Guilt Tripping?

Hi everyone, I’m in a bit of a jam. I found out today that my grandfather passed away. My mom called me and broke the news. I’m really sad about it as I just lost my grandmother (his wife) 2 months ago. I’m so tired and just in a daze because I keep losing family members and I feel like it’s taking a toll on me. So the last thing I need right now is my mom to make me feel bad for not attending the funeral. Now, before you go “WHAT!? Why would you NOT go!?You’re a horrible granddaughter!”, hear me out.

I live on the west coast and my family is on the east coast. Just moved here almost 10 months ago and I just started my job and bought a house. When my grandmother passed, my job allowed me to attend her funeral and if you’ve ever had to fly last minute, you know those flights are not cheap. I dropped $900 for a flight and hotel when my grandmother died. I’m glad I was able to attend and see family that I never get to see.

Now, this happens, and I tell my mom that I’m not sure I can swing it. She basically says to me that I should be able to find a way. This is not the first time she’s done this. She just assumes I have a load of money in some account somewhere and I can go wherever I want, when I want. This is the LAST thing I need to hear after finding out granddaddy is no longer here. So now I feel like shit, and I’m trying to figure out a way to be able to fly there. But my savings for that got depleted when I went to my grandmothers funeral.

I just don’t understand why she is making me feel like this. Am I wrong if I decide to not attend my grandfathers funeral because I feel that I don’t have sufficient funds to do so?