Feeling frustrated & losing hope

After 3 months of trying, on September 26th, 2017 I found out that we were pregnant with my first child (my partner's second). On October 17th, 2017 I was told that I had miscarried. As soon as the bleeding stopped my partner and I began trying again... I have had 2 periods since trying again and each one has shattered me. I am coming up to being due somewhere between the 10th & 15th of this month. I am terrified of getting my period again. I know that 3 months the first time around wasn't that long of a wait, and that many people have waited so much longer.. But I am torn apart every time I see a negative test since we lost our Sprout. My beautiful Step Daughter wants a sibling so badly & I am longing to be a BioMum. I know it hasn't been long, but I am losing hope so rapidly. I just want to be a Mummy.. 😔😔😔