My confession with a question

Okay so three years ago I was diagnosed with type one herpes. (From being raped) With that being said... I’ve had one breakout each year. I’m very safe when it comes to sex, and with the guys decision I’ve had sex raw and orally and they haven’t gotten anything. My question is, is why is it every time I feel a guy catching feelings I’m extremely open and honest about it because I don’t want to waist no ones time I get blocked... like I just wanna be loved... but it’s to much to ask for... 💔😭😭😭😭