Should I forgive and forget?

This is pretty long, I’m sorry.

I’m 18 years old and I have been with my partner for about 3 years. I’ve always been devoted and caring, putting him before friends and family ( I’ve never been close with my family ). Things were alright when we first started dating, but gradually things got worse. We both used drugs and struggled with depression and had been for a long time before we met (nothing extreme for me, just A LOT of weed).

In the beginning he would tell me where I could and couldn’t be. If I was standing next to another male, even if there was an entire person between us it would be a problem. I dropped all my friends for him. From there it turned to him belittling me, insulting me and overall disrespecting me. At this point I would just do what he said because I was 16 and thought I needed him. He would get mad and put his hands on me, making me feel like I have to do other drugs or he’ll leave me or he would try and take all of them all at once and blame me, constantly tell me no one loves me and that nobody loves me but him, accused me of cheating when I caught him on two occasions talking to other women, he’s even gone as far as choking me till I black out.

His manipulative behavior made me feel like I was nothing without him and like I was wrong for everything he did to me. After about a year I left him, a month after I was talking to a new guy (bad move) and tried to get mental help. When I got out of the hospital I was stupid enough to go back to him one month after being released. It just got worse after I ended up pregnant with his child, that I lost at 3 months.

A year ago he had a near death experience from a drug overdose. No that he’s sober, he was just as manipulate, but not as physical and his insults turned into “jokes”. A month ago I attempted to break off our relationship, he promised he’ll change (and it’s not the first time I’ve heard that) he’s begging me to forgive him because I hurt him when I left him and was talking to someone else.

I love him. I do not trust him. I lost my high school years to a guy who hurt me mentally, physically and emotionally. I’m very forgiving but I don’t think I can forgive him for all I’ve gotten the last few years. But should I allow him to try and change?

**Update**

We broke up. He took it really bad, but I hope he learns how to be a better partner to whoever he dates after me.