Fuuuuuuck.

All of these posts i see about terrible dv relationships and how they left after yearrrs and years of it being the same shit different day, month, year and how theyre so happy with someone that truly treats them like a queen and it makes me wonder... he hit me for the first time a few months in and does every so often sporadically.. he hit me in June then i threatened to leave and genuinely meant it and he knew that so it didnt happen again until August then September then not again until xmas eve. just typing that. . and feeling as though im justifying the abuse makes me want to run. but i love him so much. and i love his son so much. and we lost our daughter almost 8 months into my pregnancy and i feel like hes all i have left of her .. i just dk what to do.. i dont want to get 5+ years down the line and realize i wasted so much time because shitbwont change but i dont wamt to give up on him.