The what ifs

I've never been worried about miscarriages or having a still born. I've even opted out of the genetic testing with both my pregnancies. I'm a healthy young woman and my body is the safest place for my child in my eyes but I still worry. I worry about my child's first birthday, I worry about what to purchase, I worry because my son passed away from SIDS when he was 10 weeks old. Now years later I'm pregnant pregnant again with a little boy and I couldn't be happier. (I wanted a boy, having a little girl scares the poop out of me) unfortunately my 5 month old neice just got diagnosed with Kawasaki disease (extremely rare in North America, has no known cause or cure, pretty much a shitty luck of the draw type of disease that you can't prevent) and now my head is spinning. I'm afraid to plan for the future.