Highschool problems


So I’m in 8th grade, hey 👋

Currently highschool is actually around the corner and I am trying to get into a school my best friend (I’ve known for 6 years) is going to and im not top priority and neither is my friend because we live outside the district but we both want to go there because the other highschool has a gang problem and since my dad works as a Juvenile Detentions Office and is a former veteran and police officer he doesn’t even let me wear leggings he doesn’t want me going there too, Fina (best friend) is really trying to get in but knows spots are filling up quickly and I got a call from my lovely mother telling me to pass ALL my classes because my current school won’t give us paperwork until I pass math, which I’ve done like once? I know how to pass classes I’m really street smart in that particular area, but holy hell im so emotionally drained and physically and having my parents breathing down my neck just makes me feel like a stupid disappointment of a daughter, I’ve sobbed infront of my dad about it and he said I wasn’t a disappointment but the feeling won’t go away. My mom literally hates me and when I am on my death bed she still makes me feel like grades completely define me. I am working so so hard but she doesn’t see that, I haven’t had a good sleep in weeks and the only time I did was when my dad sat down and I started sobbing and he finally noticed how drained I was. I used to love myself, I thought I was funny, confident, and a good person, but I really hate myself it’s like I’m walking around with a big 30% in my forehead.

2 months, I have 2 months to do this, I’m so fucking scared.