I give up

Yup im throwing in the towel i give up i cant handle the heart ache and pain anymore i feel so broken so upset hurt angery jealous because we cant get pregnant. I have two from my first marraige we got pregnant the first night we started ttc then got a divorice and i met my now huhsband we wernt using any protection for three months nothing then broke up i had a drunken night and boom i was pregnant we got back together he raises our son as his own but we have been ttc since april 2014 and strongly like tracking all that diligently since December 2014. In the last year ive had 4 chemical /miscarages and found out during my last chemical pregnancy in feb that i have a tumor on my overy. We hace been ttc stil because its not cancerous. But ive had it all i want is to have a baby with him (he was deoloyed tell our son was 6 weeks from when i was 7 weeks pregnant and we got back together when r son was 6 weeks old) i want to go threw all that with him have the labor experiance with him see his eyes when i look at our baby all thoes things i want to give him that. I dont understand why it isnt happening. Im so drained from all this . Af just showed up 3 days late after what i thought were 4 faint positives. I just cant take this hurt anymore . How do i come to grips with the fact that we just cant have a baby its not in the cards for us