Pregnant.....why am I not excited?

I'm 6 weeks 2 days. I should be overjoyed, I should be excited to be a mom and start a family with my husband. I've always dreamed of being a mother, and with PCOS I never thought it was possible....so the fact that I'm pregnant now should have be all kinds of excited. But....I'm just not....I keep trying to be. I try to read about my growing baby, do reasearch, and look at baby stuff....and all the excitement I want to feel just isn't there. Instead I'm just terrified. Terrified about this pregnancy, terrified of labor, terrified about finances, terrified about not knowing if I can mentally handle a baby....

we are keeping our child obviously. neither of us would have it any other way. I'm just so scared. And on top of being scared or all that....I'm ALSO constantly worrying about accepting it and getting excited because what if something happens to the baby???? What if I miscarry or have a stillbirth? So many what ifs.....

I want to be excited for this miracle.....so why am I not?