Dad that isn’t in my life

Who else has a dad who hasn’t been in their life? Im currently 18 and ever since i was 5 my mom left my dad because he would hit her and he did so much drugs he would even sell our stuff for more drugs. He was actually in and out of our lives which is why i still love him also because he’s my dad and i would feel bad for not loving him. He’s never yelled at me or hit me but of course he’s never really been there for me emotionally or financially. It’s hard... He lives only 1 hour from me and he still doesn’t come to see me😞 he still does drugs sometimes, he has a wife he lives with who is really good to him. He has missed a tremendous amount of things in my life that has happened like when i had my daughter it’s just sad. whenever he does text me all he does is promise he’ll change but it never happens and it’s sad especially because i love him but that love for him is slowly fading😞