Am I wrong for letting this bother me?

Question

So recently I've been bothered by a particular event in my husbands past that I didn't know about for a very long while into the relationship. About 6 years ago when he was with one of his ex's and in the 2-3 years they were together, she had 3 miscarriages. He never thought to tell me this, even when we began to discuss having a baby together. I suspected something had happened in that relationship, so I harped on it one day and he told me unwillingly. He said I didn't need to know cause it doesn't matter because they were never born. It's bothered me ever since, but even more so lately knowing that I might possibly be pregnant. Am I wrong for letting this bother me?

Answer

I think what is going on is that she wanted to be the one  to have this intimate thing with him and to know that even though it was miscarriages, he still had that with someone. I understand your feelings (if I'm correct) and all I have in advice is that you can't change what happened and you can just accept it and start thinking of the family you two will have together.

Answer

I don't see why that would upset you. He isn't with her. But it's something that probably really upset him at the time and doesn't want to talk about.

Answer

I think so, he's let that part of his life go but your just bringing it all back up, why does it matter that she had 3 miscarriages. Are you worried your going to go through the same thing?

Answer

It shouldn't bother you he's with you now and that's in the past, however... I totally understand your feelings xx

Answer

Were they trying to get pregnant? If not I would first question the truth of it on her end if he doesn't have details. I'm sorry but I don't trust women, too many use pregnancy and fake miscarriages to keep a man.

Two, if they were not trying to get pregnant I wouldn't feel as hurt. Naturally a woman will have emotion to something so special so I don't fault you for feeling hurt but honestly I'd feel more hurt if the relationship was close enough to try for a baby. Of course no wrong has been done, it's jealousy but as long as you don't treat him different that's fine imo.

Am I wrong for letting this bother me?

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