Just need someone who understands

For the past two years I feel like my life has gone nowhere. I feel sad but I don’t know how to describe it. I never want to hang out with people I just want to sleep. I cry all the time and think that getting drunk or doing drugs will help but it only helps for a little bit. It takes my sadness and all my thoughts away. Boys treat me like I’m nothing, my friends don’t care and it makes me feel like I’m nothing. All my friends have boyfriends and I’m the only single one who boys just talk to for a day and then stop. They are all in scholl when I got kicked out of the nursing program for bad grades and just feel like a failure. I am afraid to talk to my parents about this because they don’t believe in “depression” or “anxiety” when I believe I have both. I just wish my life was so different like how I feel I don’t even know how to describe it or even talk about it. I just want to cry and run away from everything but put a smile on my face so no one knows how I really feel. I just need someone anyone