So I am about 26 weeks along with my second pregnancy. I am happily married to an amazing mad and have an incredible 5 year old girl. I have a long history of depression and have been on meds for the past couple years. I worked with my dr to get on Sertraline in preparation for pregnancy. Up until about two to three weeks ago I was doing ok. About two months ago I asked if I could up my dose as things were becoming more difficult to handle/cope with. But two weeks ago things have just gotten worse. It’s a mix of hormones, external factors and a lot of internal ones. And I’m am nearing a frightening breaking point. I have cried every day for the last two weeks. I am struggling at my job. I feel like a complete failure with my daughter because I am so exhausted from not getting quality sleep, (I sleep maybe two hours at a time) that I just don’t have the energy to do anything. Literally showering is a chore. I’m failing as a wife and family member. It’s gotten so bad that sometimes the only thing I think about is cutting and suicide. I feel I am just ruining everyone’s life I touch. I haven’t physically done anything but like I said it’s getting close to a breaking point.

I can’t tell my husband about all of this. We discuss some things, but he doesn’t fully understand my “flavor” of depression.

I don’t want to go up on meds because the potential side effects for the baby. But if I don’t find something I’m afraid we won’t make it.

My husband and I are in couples counseling so that helps but not all the way. I’ve tried medication and breathing techniques but it just hits me so hard and so fast I’m often unprepared for it.

Has anyone else been in similar situations? What have you found to help?