What to do.

Question

So I am in a dilemma, me and my husband have been together for 7 years, we have 2 beautiful boys. I just feel like our relationship has come to a stand still. It seems like neither one of us is happy. I do love him, I will always love him. I’m just not in love with him anymore. I have been talking to a friend I went to school with, for awhile now and I’m starting to have feelings for him. I have more stuff in common with him. I would never have an affair, my husband knows I talk to him. I’m just so Confused I don’t know what to do.

Accepted Answer

Start investing time in your MARRIAGE. Stop talking to this other guy. There’s a reason you’ve been with your husband so long. There’s a reason you married him. Get back to that place.

Answer

Have you tried any marriage counseling? I would spend more time trying to reconnect with your husband instead of talking to an old flame. 
I hate to be rude, but the fact that you’re getting feelings for this new man is an emotional affair. I would be crushed if my husband needed to talk to someone else instead of working on our issues. 
If you’re not interested in working toward your own marriage, I would get out.

Answer

Start watering your own grass. Reinvigorate things with your husband. Go on dates. Try something new together. And stop talking to this other guy. It’ll only distract you from what you already have if you’re developing that much of a connection with him.

Answer

It sounds like you have already made up your mind that you are not going any further with your husband by talking to this other guy. If you want to save your marriage at all, you need to cut this guy out completely and invest in marriage counseling. You have to apply yourself to fix things. If you truly want to talk to this other guy, i think you need to face the facts that your marriage isn’t at a standstill - it’s over. You have to make a choice here and apply yourself (both of you) plain and simple. I hope the answers come to you.

Answer

What’s the dilemma? You went outside of your marriage, talked to another man and caught feelings and NOW you don’t know what to do? 
If you’re unhappy, leave. Actually, it doesn’t matter about your happiness anymore. Confess to your husband that you’re having an emotional affair and leave, for his sake. 
Don’t ruin him anymore for his next wife.

Answer

I hate the term I love him/her but I'm not in love with him/her... personally. relationships take work and two people who value each other and themselves enough to put that work in, especially when they are each busy with kids, work, school, etc. 
Separating is an option and sometimes it's the right option but I think today so many people view it as the best option because it's easier than putting in the work to choose to be happy with the one you chose originally. Sure some new guy might seem exciting and give you attention and bring a spark of something new into your life but what makes this person better than your partner who you have history and children with? Why would a commitment to someone or something new work when the one you're already in didn't? 
Now I'm not judging. I'm divorced from an abusive ex who I gave way too many years to and excuses for but if there is nothing wrong that can't be fixed (abuse, infidelity, addiction, ect.) in your relationship/marriage than what's to say you won't get bored again with this next guy. you fell in love with your current man for a reason maybe instead of seeing the things that aren't there with him and might be there with new guy work on seeing what is there and what made you fall in love in the first place. Talk to your partner and work on reigniting that spark and falling in love all over again instead of giving it up for something you can't know is going to work. 
Again I don't judge if you are ready to quit and start fresh with someone new then no one can stop you. 
best of luck!

Answer

That is so disrespectful. There is no reason for you to talking to other men especially if you are married. I would never disrespect my husband like that, regardless of whether I wasn’t “in love” with him anymore. Save that crap for AFTER your divorce. As far as, “what to do,” tell your husband you want a divorce because you made up your mind about whether or not to save your marriage when you started talking to other men. Give you and your husband the opportunity to find someone else.

Answer

Talk to your husband, see where he's at. I'd put communication with this guy on the back burner and work on your marriage, if it's worth trying.

Answer

If you want your relationship with your husband to get out of the standstill....you have to stop talking to that other guy!!! There is a reason why you and the other guy never dated....you have a husband and 2 kids at home...This is your time to shine and make improvements in your current relationship with your husband and really invest your time into making things right between the two of you instead of breaking the relationship off for something new... :( 
I really hope you two end up working things out...maybe get a hobby together. My parents do ballroom dancing and it’s the sweetest thing ever. If ballroom dancing isn’t your thing, maybe biking, or even maybe just going on more dates without the kids. Best of luck ❤️

Answer

Tam hats the problem, talking to the other guy may be the distraction where your blind to fixing what’s going on in your marriage. Spend time and energy talking to your husband.

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