I moved to Australia from Germany when I was 18. It was only meant to be for a year, but then I met a guy and he completely changed my mind.

We ended up marrying for the visa at 18&20 years and we didn’t tell anyone.

Some of my friends found out and they were quite upset and I’ve had my fair share of people telling me they never want to see me again.

I’ve given up everything for him. Literally everything. My family, friends, support, just everything. I’ve lost so much. All for him and to be with him. I sometimes get a feeling he doesn’t really realise this.

Anyways, we’ve been to Germany and England (he’s lived his first 10 years of life there) in the last weeks. Spent 5 weeks in Germany and are currently staying at his nans in England.

His parents earn about aud$300k/year together whereas mine earn about aud65k/year. (They earn in euro, but I’ve calculated it.)

I’ve lived with his parents a while until they decided to throw me out and having to look for a place within 3 (!!!) days.

So I’m not on good terms with them.

My parents had never met my husband before we came to visit, and yet they still paid around $1,5k even though they could barely afford it and I paid $3.5k by myself while we also got $1k from his nan.

My parents gave us around 1000€ to spend which comes together to around $1400. His parents gave him $0. $0!!!

Now, the whole time we’ve been to Germany, I feel liked my hubby just judged me for how we live and how my family works and all that. When I threw a party with all my friends he barricaded himself in my room drinking by himself and only came out for about an hour, and getting so drunk that he vomited all over my bed. I had to spend the rest of the night taking care of him and I didn’t talk to everyone I wanted to talk to because of him. I was so embarrassed. (Not for the vomiting but just how unsocial he was behaving.)

Overall while Germany was still nice, I do think I would’ve much more enjoyed it by myself.

We also decided to move to another state in Australia when we get back from our trip and when he told his parents they did NOT like it. And I mean his dad literally tried to bribe him into leaving our cat with them in hopes we won’t go or won’t take the cat. (It’s our cat.)

I just wish he would have the guts to speak out loud, stand up for himself and literally yell at his parents and show them who’s boss. He says that’s not how he’s been raised. I just feel so let down by him for not standing up for me. I can understand him, but if my parents said bad things about my boyfriend I’d be livid. If literally tell them if they said one more bad word about any decisions of mine, they would never see me again. I mean, his Mum literally texted my mum how she was concerned that my dad was an irresponsible driver and all that, and all he said to her was that he appreciates her concern but she overstepped a line!

Calling my dad irresponsible is worth appreciation???

I don’t know if I’m just overreacting or what, but I’m just so mad.

Now that we’re in England, we went on a date today and I’ve paid the tickets to the place, I’ve paid for lunch for not only him but also his nan and I’ve paid about $170 worth of food in the restaurant he always used to go with his family as a kid. It was a really nice evening.

Now, I do change accents when I’m in different countries and I’ve been taking on the British accent while we were here and he’s been making fun of that ever since we got here.

(“If it stays like that I’m afraid I can’t be with you”/mimicking me/telling me he doesn’t believe that it’s not on purpose)

I’ve been telling him to stop doing it, now or less subtly depending on who we were with at the time.

When he did it again before, after our date, I told him to please stop and that it was quite mean. He mimicked me and didn’t stop. Now I had had enough and told him that at least I sounded more like his family than he does. He said that that was probably a good thing considering how bogan my accent is and I got even more upset.

When we were in the shops we talked about Australia and how I think their public transport is quite shit compared to Germany and how I wouldn’t move there if it wasn’t for him. That’s all I said.

He got angry and walked away. I said

“By the way, you’re welcome for dinner, for the tickets, and for the flights here.”

He didn’t talk to me for like an hour after that.

Then when his nan came to pick us up he was crying and she could obviously tell he was upset. It just put me in such an awkward position and made me feel so stupid. I sometimes feel he does it on purpose, the crying to make me feel uncomfortable in front of his family.

Now he’s been telling me I’ve ruined this night for him by saying that Australia was a shithole and that I “need to grow the fuck up”. I would NEVER say that. Yes i said their public transport is shit, but that’s all I said next to I wouldn’t move there if it wasn’t for him. He must’ve understood something wrong, but he won’t believe me.

I just really don’t know what to do.

I feel like I’m not good enough in his eyes and everything I do is wrong.

I tried to make this a really nice date and I really didn’t mean to ruin his night but I’ve just wanted to defend myself from his constant nagging and picking on me.

What would you do? I don’t really know what I’m even asking for. Am I overreacting by being upset he didn’t apologise for making fun of me?

How would you try to handle this situation?