Depression

So my fiancé and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years and still nothing. I’m beginning to finding it hard for me to be around or near anyone pregnant with a girl. I literally burst into to tears. I have become lazy, and in a real slump. I don’t want to be around anyone. Last night I attempted suicide.... My fiancé called my family but I made up a lie as to why I took 15 Tramodols. My fiancé knows the truth he knows why I did it...My heart aches, and I can’t help but wonder why... why me, why am I not good enough, what’s wrong with me... I think I need to speak with someone.