Post-baby sex not getting any better? I've tried just about everything.

Anyone else have difficulty getting back to normal down south after having a baby? I'm 22 and a first time mom, and I feel like I'm the only girl, that I know, not able to jump right back in to sex, and I'm not jumping anymore, my son is 18 months old now. I've had a lot of girlfriends have babies and no one has had the same trouble as me. I've tried different lubes, water based, foreplay, breathing/relaxing, taking it really slow, but every time is excruciating. I end up in tears before everything is even close to over. Like one finger is too much, even after previous times with penetration. I'm not one to go for masturbating with toys or otherwise, especially now because I'm honestly afraid to do anything at all, but I guess I'm willing if that helps? I'd love to feel my complete normal self again. And the added fun that I'm a single mom now after a long relationship, and that makes the idea of finding a partner daunting because I feel broken. I know that's not all I'm for, but it's an important part of a relationship, especially when there's a really great, in every way this time, perspective fella in mind. And I'd love to be able to use more than a pad come that wonderful time of the month. Tampons or cups are so far out of the question. So frustrating. Anyway, suggestions? Any relatable experiences? How did you get past it? TIA!!