Is he getting old..?

*Photos taken at the moment I wrote this.*

My boyfriend and I have been having a hard time lately. 1 year and 8 months together...since middle school, now sophomores in HS. I am older by one year and 20 Days.

Lately, we’ve been having...falling outs. Making me fear that’ll I wouldn’t be able to grow old and have kids after we travel the world like we dreamed off. It builds up my anxiety and paranoia of losing him so quickly. I love him...it’s just that...he’s becoming childish and I’m maturing too quick. He is growing up in a typical and caring Vietnamese family; I’m from a 7 person household which is ruled over by my egotistical and sometimes abusive father who is the main breadwinner of the family (which is why I don’t report it to CPS or the police).

But I digress.

Let me elaborate on what’s going on...

January 26 - Our anniversary.

Had a normal school day, worked and played around like the lovely couple we are. Slowly dying off until after school, he kept trying to mess up my hair intentionally...Something I hated due to bad memories which is a story for next time. I told him stop and he just jokingly plays it off.

Day goes on onto our date which is at a mall nearest to his house, more fun...until he starts rubbing my head again..he is still playing it off and I kinda...screamed at him, telling him to knock it off and how fucking annoying it was.

He tried to joke it off some more, the excuse becoming more and more childish. “It’s a force of habit!” “I like doing it.”

I just start crying, unable to control myself. He tries comforting me and I just snap more, saying “You never fucking listen” or “stop acting like a clown.” Or even “this is a date, can’t you be more serious.”

I know I’m overreacting but this has happened before, where he just...doesn’t listen to me....and just....completely brushes off what I am saying. Also, acts like I’m not even his girlfriend but just a friend.

I am sick of that....but I can’t leave him because I love him so much....but I just wished he fucking listened.

Moving on, date goes well so far but I’m sulking and annoyed, barely talking.

He gets pissed and soon walks faster than me, staying 10-20 feet ahead and probably acting like he doesn’t know me for the next 5-7 minutes.

We make up and he buys me gelato.

Next problem.

January 28 - Family gathering with my cousins and a few family friends.

I’m busy with cleaning all day, not having the chance to talk to him. I’m diligent when I get into the cleaning zone.

While I’m cleaning, I’m listening to horror stories from my favorite YouTubers. Slowly getting more and more exhausted.

6 hours later, I’m finally done with the bathroom and living room. (Both are filthy with 7 people inside the house)

Finally, I text him. He’s out with his mom and his brother at the movies in our favorite mall. I talk to him over the phone for quite a few minutes before I’m overwhelmed with exhaustion, tell him I’m taking a nap before the family gets here. I wake up and happy to talk to him. He’s out with his mom again and suddenly, oh whoop te doo, I’m phone is at 8%. Tell him I’ll charge my phone.

At this point, my family arrives and I’m waiting for my phone to charge to a eligible amount and text him again. I’m still tired so I tell him, not call, just text. I tell him I love him and he hits me with the “I love you too....” with dots, our universal side to know whether one is depressed or sulking.

Usually we have that “I love you contest” which is fun and enjoyable but I love when he beats me in it, makes me feel special inside...but this time, we don’t have it.

He says I get annoyed when I question his “I doubt it”

From then on, you guys should read...here.

Finally, comes the question....

At that point, I just...turn of read receipts and just, try to forget it...he knows I’m not but it’s no point in it anymore, if he doesn’t believe me..then maybe I’m not for him..

I need your words of wisdom...tell me...how have I been acting....how he has been acting...what I can do...Or even scold me...anything...so that I can feel like..normal?