What do I do now 💔

I love him so so much , he was my ex. We were together for 9 months, talked all the way up past our year and it was on and off during that whole time. But tonight with everything going on in my life I had to let him go, he said I was annoying, and I asked why are you here then if I’m so annoying? And just said that’s a good question. So I cute if , I said I appreciate you checking on me but it’s not needed. Basically I let him so I said I’ve had it , I’ll leave you alone ( even though he texted me) I’m just torn and I want him to realize, and feel regret for just being such a dick and losing me ( I hope that isn’t mean) but I’m so damn heartbroken, he always comes back or I text him something but I feel it’s officially, officially over. I’m homeschooled I have absolutely no one, but his sister. I’m soooo torn I don’t know what to do, how can he just say “alright” and go?? And I stress myself out thinking about him like who he is with, parties and what not.. it’s silly I know.. I just miss him so much yet enough is enough my heart couldn’t take it anymore yet he is all I want. I want him back, even if it wasn’t going anywhere:( 💔 like there is so much I just wouldn’t want him to find someone else or talk to anyone else but I can’t be that selfish I just wonder if he will come back ... what do I do