Coping with a vanishing twin?

Question

On October 10th I found out I was expecting twins. November 6th I went to my first OB appointment and my doctor only found one heartbeat, one baby. We were devastated but, held out hope that maybe the other baby was just hidden. But since then the doctor has always just found one heartbeat, one baby, and we now know the sex of the remaining baby, it’s a Boy! While we are very happy with our baby boy, we still feel sad and a little depressed that the other baby didn’t make it. I’m almost 24 weeks now. So how do I/we cope? How do we move past this feeling? 😞

Answer

I went through the same thing with this pregnancy. My first ultrasound there were 2 sacs but when I went to my next appointment there was only 1.. I’m 31 weeks now and the surviving one is a boy. 
I’m still struggling with it.. but doing better than I had been. 
One day you’ll eventually wake up and go through an entire day without thinking about it. Then it will turn to weeks, maybe even a month.
Something will remind you though, and it will hurt.. but you just have to push forward. 
At least we still have our remaining twin.. and that’s better than losing both.

Answer

Same thing happened with my daughters twin. First step is knowing there is NOTHING you could do to prevent it. It’s actually very common to lose a twin. Secondly it’s okay to be sad, people may say you still have one so be grateful and while you should embrace the one you still carry it’s okay to have the sadness hit you every once in a while and it will, that’s okay. Thirdly Try to focus on the plus sides on having one child there are many and it’s okay to acknowledge that. Forth you can still cherish your little angel in special ways and I encourage it. I got a birthstone ring (October due date) for the twin we lost for Christmas and a birth stone ring for my daughter who was induced in September. I’m not sure about how I will tell my daughter she had a twin and at what age.. that’s gonna be hard. I’m sorry this happened to you too. ❤️

Answer

When I found out I was pregnant for the second time, I felt like it was twins. I am a twin myself. At our first US, they saw one baby and one sac that didn’t show a heartbeat. They said it was just a pocket of fluid or something.
We did genetic testing at 13 weeks that said we were having a girl. Then at our 20 week US, found out baby is a boy. They re-analyzed our genetic testing and determined that I was initially pregnant with boy-girl twins but the girl passed earlier. So that sac was her.
I just found all of this out earlier this week. I’m 21 weeks now. We have a 1.5 year old boy and I initially pictured another boy but my husband was positive I was having a girl. After the US, we both grieved a little for the girl we thought we had but didn’t. Then we find out later that we really did have a girl at some point and I was right that we initially had twins.
It’s been a roller coaster. I went to Target today and struggled seeing the baby girl section.

Coping with a vanishing twin?

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