Starting Again!!😭😭

AF just ended starting over again.😭😭 apparently I didn't ovulate last month 😣😥 so starting everything In my power to make this our month. I am trying so hard to stay positive. I am trying so hard to be happy and make this fun for us. But the closer my due date get the worse I feel. I should be holding my baby soon. My miscarriage at 12 weeks in August has defeated me emotionally and mentally. Then just a month later we lost my mother in law. I feel like I am drowning. TTC our rainbow baby is the only hope i have left. We started trying in March last year and our loss was hard. we started trying again right away after our MC. So I am taking no chances this month and have restocked and got new vitamins and opk's so I can see ovulation.