So I have been dating the same guy for about 4 years, and we’re expecting two girls in a couple months. A year or two ago he moved 700 miles away, he’d come back and visit and go back home. Now that I am pregnant I feel like he’s pressuring me to move down with him. In March 2017, I started working for the City of NY, and I constantly explain to him that I can’t just pick up and leave. I have bills, and If I left I’d lose my medical/dental insurance, the kids would have no insurance etc. He doesn’t understand that it’s not about what’s best for US, but what’s best for THEM! I cannot pick up and leave with no plan because my daughters are depending on me. I’m staying with my mom for a year, I was in the process of looking for a place to stay before I found out I was pregnant and my mom told me to just stay when we found out it was twins.

Mind you I planned on moving, but that was before I found out about this job. I went thru 4 months at the police academy and never felt more invincible after I completed my training.

Since I’ve been pregnant, he claims he works but has not gotten a new phone or turned one on, he keeps talking about purchasing property and the whole 9 yards, but I feel like I cannot act on impulse. He really makes me feel bad, but I have to remind myself that I’m responsible for myself and these girls. If i move 700 miles away, I’m being taken away from my support system and I’d have no job. His reasoning for not wanting to move back is because he feels NY is not for him. And his Grandmother supposedly left him land, and he’d lose it if he comes back to NY. (Mind you idk how he can pay for it working when he can) I never asked or pressured him to come back to live. I have done nothing but encourage him to get his life together even before the kids came into the picture. I’ve offered him help and every time it’s seemed to have hit the fan. The only thing that I have asked of him was to make sure that he makes it to some ultrasound appointments and that he’s here for the birth of our daughters. Do you feel like I am being selfish?